Our life, our way….the title of our blog. And that is pretty much how we feel.
I woke up this morning with the intent to do work. Work that someone is waiting for me to get done. But I need to take a break before I even start to vent.
Even before Brian and I got married, we started to have friends and just random people ask us when we were going to have babies and how many. We smile and say, “Maybe 2 or so but we are going to wait a few years.” Okay, let’s just roll with the punches, folks are just happy for us.
On the day of the wedding, almost everyone commented about babies. That was actually cute. Happy day, talk about happy things. My sister in law actually wrapped up our wedding fund jar and put “baby fund” on it. I thought that was soo cute. I appreciated that.
And she has not brought the topic up again.
But everyone else wants us to have a baby. Friends ask. Bosses ask. Co-workers ask. People I seldom talk to ask. Then folks will post on facebook comments that make people think I’m pregnant. OMG As if trying to ignore the “You should have a baby” wasn’t enough. Now I have to deal with “Are you pregnant?” “Congrats!”
I know I am guilty of making similar comments but its usually just once or twice. Especially since most will tell you what their plans are. And typically, I don’t bring it up if the couple in question doesn’t start.
Then there is the right and wrong way to say things.
Wrong: “You should have a baby.”
Right: “Are you planning on having kids?”
Wrong:”My baby needs playmates”
Right: “If and when you have kids, our kids could be friends.”
If you want a baby then have one yourself! Have a dozen!
Reasons why you should not assume anyone should have a baby…NOW:
- They are broke. Just because they appear to have money, doesn’t mean they do
- They have been trying but haven’t been able to.
- They can’t have a baby for medical reasons and she will die if they do.
- They have a high probability of passing on a genetic disorder they would like to stop with them.
- Maybe the couple is having issues and about to get divorced!
- They were pregnant and miscarried before telling everyone and the next day you tell them they should have a baby.
People don’t feel like they have the right to tell you to:
- Change jobs
- Buy a house
- Buy a car
- Get married
- Move to another state or country
All of these are major life changing decisions yet as humans we don’t feel we can randomly tell others this. Family might but only at a high level. So why do people feel they have the “right” to tell anyone they should have a kid, NOW!
I can’t stop anyone from saying anything. It is your mouth and your thought. But I think it would be great if everytime ANYONE tells me I need to have a baby, I tell them what I think they are doing wrong in their life and what they should change. After all, isn’t that what you are telling me? “You are wrong for not wanting to have a baby now, you should close that door and not stop having sex until that pee stick is positive.”
Would anyone like to tell me what I should write in my resignation letter:
“Dear Boss:
I am so happy to tell you that I have seen the light! I realize that life is not complete until I have a baby. I should stop being selfish and go ahead and start a family already. I now know that I have been wrong and everyone else is right.
I was wrong to think a career is good. I was wrong to think I needed to save money. I was wrong about education. I should have gotten started back when I was 16. I am 14 years behind!!!! How will I catch up?
I now know I should let my husband work. I will stay home and be barefoot and pregnant like Mrs. Dugger.
Please consider this my official resignation effective NOW so that I can go home NOW and have sex with my husband NOW so that I can have a baby NOW.
Sincerely,
An enlightened employee
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