Our life, our way

I have a lot to think about. A lot has happened this year, both good and bad. Just as anyone else, I wish the bad things didn’t happen.  For years now my friends from various stages in my life have also moved around the country as I have all of my childhood. So it makes it very difficult to see folks.  This year was special and unique.

I got to go on vacation twice with Lauren and Mike. Sonya has been here to visit on several occasions. I even got to spend time with folks back home in Biloxi. The “harem” as Brian likes to call them. It makes me remember how much I miss my friends. For a while there I almost forgot what it was like. I’ve made friends everywhere but not the kind of friends from before. Not the kind, you tell anything to. Not the kind, you call up randomly just to chat. My new friends, it seems like everything has to be planned. What happened to, picking up the phone when you are bored and head out to catch a movie?

But the year was filled with lots of bad news. Seemed like everywhere I turned I heard the word divorce. That is very sad to me whether the couple had kids or not. Unfortunately, many are not finalized because its never quick when it has kids involved.

We’ve gotten to spend good quality time with Brian’s Dad. I think he really enjoyed Seattle/Alaska. I wish we could do more for him to get him away from the drama that fills his life. I don’t think the stress is good for him at all. I saw him at Christmas and he looked tired and run down. It is wonderful that he is helping care for his grandkids but it takes such a toll on him. He should be relaxing and “enjoying” the kids not having to care for their day to day needs.  Hopefully things will lighten up for him.

We haven’t gotten to take mom anywhere this year and for that I feel really bad. She deserves it.  My goal is to get that taken care of the first half of 2012.

We’ve moved to a new house in 2011. It was a difficult decision. In a bad economy, how can you dive in and decide to buy a second home just to have two mortgages? But we did our math carefully based on our spending habits in the past 2 years living together and sharing finances and we did it! I am very glad we did. I love the new house. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my old house too. These first 4 months have been tight because of move in expenses (little fixes here and there) and the holidays. But we budgeted well and we didn’t incur additional debt! Now we just need to stick to our normal behavior in 2012 that we did in 2011 and we’ll still be able to take our vacations, buy our toys, pay down old debt and keep up with the mortgage. For that I feel really lucky.

I see lots of folks that make equal to or more than us and they aren’t able to do the things we do.  They probably have more cost in their life. Hopefully the economy gets better, and everyone will start to be able to breathe a little nicer as finances let up.  I can’t wait until our credit card debt is 100% gone along with student loans.  Another 2 years for credit card debt and car loans. I wish it wasn’t that long but I think the house was worth the delay and I refuse to give up vacations. After all we take pretty cheap vacations and the life moments and memories we have together are priceless. Who cares if people call me cheap. I’d rather take 3 cheap vacations than one super expensive one. Alaska was pricey but Alaska cruises are never cheap and we wanted to make sure Dad had a great time.  Balcony was nice but the price premium was still not worth it. Maybe later in life, but for now, I’m going bad to my cheap interior rooms.

Those were the highlights of the year. There is still so many more things worth mentioning but I better hop in the shower so that I can enjoy my last day of 2011 with my nephew, Tai.  Happy New Year everyone!

So one of the things I really wish I had more of as an adult is child hood pictures. I have a total of perhaps 5 pictures of my dad. Not that we owned a camera to allow us to be able to take pictures. But even if we did, all the moving around would have lost many as we downsized constantly. If that wasn’t enough then I’m sure the house fire or hurricane would have finished off the remainder. So my plan is to take lots of pictures but I also don’t want to miss life moments because I’m too busy capturing each one.  To fill the gap, I asked the family to go take family portraits.  Now if I can get the same done with the other half. For now, this is better than nothing.

So Brian and I had a situation happen over the Thanksgiving Holiday that I’d love to get input on.  Before vacation, we bought a Christmas tree. We tucked it away in the garage and figured we would take care of it after Thanksgiving.

A week passes and we crack open the box. Ugh, its one with individual limbs. *sigh*  So Brian starts unpacking and organizing them by color. Only to get to the bottom and find no pole. We look at the instructions and it is so wrong. It depicts a tree that is in 3 sections. Hmmm…. Brian notices the code on the instructions machines the model on the box.

Whatever….we now have a tree we can’t use. Load it back in, tape it up and head to the store. (Hoping they still have this tree for an exchange) Upon arrival I tell the clerk that the tree is missing the “pole.” She calls the manager and he comes up. So I describe to him what is missing. Gives me a funny look and proceeds to open the box. He says, “This is not one of our trees. We only sell the kind that comes in sections that stack.”

Well, crap! “Ma’m, when did you buy this?” First thought that crosses my mind is that he is going to kick us out with our partial tree! Fortunately, justice prevails and he agrees to take the return. There were no more in stock so we could not exchange. We did find another we thought would be good and so we bought it.  So crisis is solved. I felt bad because now the store is out money for the tree.

So here are the scenarios I came up with concerning what could have happened.

1. Manufacturer messed up in packing
2. Someone bought a tree, took it out and put their broken crap in, and returned it saying there was nothing wrong with the tree so they wouldn’t open it.

I’m leaning toward #2. So if it is #2 then why? The tree was only $99. Not a small amount but definitely not that much.

1. You are a very bad person that just wanted to rip of the store. Not caring if the store or another customer takes the hit.
2. You lost your job and can’t afford the tree but have kids that expect a tree.
3. You never really had money, but wanted a tree.
4. They just felt like screwing with someone.
5. They didn’t realize they re-packed the wrong tree.

Aside from #5, I can’t really say it was okay. And what are the odds of it being a #5?

#2 has some emotional aspects to it.  The poor kids. They are used to having a good Christmas with a pretty tree. But then I think….wow, if you can’t afford a $99 tree, then you have bigger issues to deal with. I think kids won’t mind presents without a tree. But if you can’t afford that tree then you probably shouldn’t be buying too many presents.

Some will argue, “You can’t let the kids suffer because of it”  Really???? So we teach kids that you should get what you want even if you can’t afford it?

And we wonder why kids are spoiled with no notion of responsibility these days. I know the banks played a role in the mortgage issues we have today but lets not ignore the folks that over bought. You should know if that you can’t afford a $150k house on a $30k salary with a wife and 2 kids to feed. Yes, its nice to say its yours but did you really think you would get the promotion to double your income in time for the ARM mortgage to end?  If you demand to be able to stay in your house even though you can’t afford it then are you not also stealing.

Some will say, “Kim, you just don’t understand. You have a nice job, a big house. You don’t understand.” Like HELL I don’t!

I grew up poorer than most of the people I know.  I remember the holiday season when there was only $100 to the family name for the household of 4. And my father’s line of work was never slated to bring in much in the cold season. “Oh, you couldn’t have been that bad off. I heard you talk about the house and mobile home you guys had.” Yes, we did. Both of which, when I think about are places that most of the folks reading this blog would never consider living in. I had apartments better than them. And I had folks call my apartments “ghetto.” LOL

So, I have still yet to find the good reason to steal. Please enlighten me.

So, I consider myself to be a nice person. I do.

But if I consider myself a nice person then you are wondering why I am asking this question.  “Nice” has different levels.

Lately at work, I’ve been trying to re-evaluate what it is to be nice.  I can work with pretty much anyone. If you have met some of the folks I’ve worked with before you would agree with me. LOL.

But being cordial and working with someone is kind of where I would like to draw the line. I don’t feel that I need to talk about vacation with you, talk about my marriage, talk about having kids, or anything else that is about my personal life. If we don’t like each other…if we only talk because of work, then I will smile and say hi to you in the hall, but I probably won’t ask “How are you?” Let alone any of those other things.

So why does it seem that people define “being nice” to co-workers to include this small talk? You don’t care, I don’t care, so lets not bother. Right?

And if you are someone I do talk to about any of those personal topics, then I consider you to be more than a co-worker. Maybe not a good friend I will grab a drink after work with, but I would help you if you needed it. So if you are going to be more than a co-worker then don’t stab me in the back.

And if I stop entertaining all these people and there need for information (or acting like they want to know) then am I not nice anymore?