Feb 24, 2011 – Brian and I got the opportunity to watch STS-133 Shuttle launch from Titusville, FL. It was Discovery’s last and final mission. We were fortunate to find a very quiet location with shade. It was fairly empty when we arrived whereas the beaches and Space view Park was already packed. It was perfect!
We work so hard to help those we love. Our family, our friends. What do you do when you can’t help them. Your daughter had her first heart break. Your son doesn’t make the varsity team. Your best friend is laid off from their job.
*sigh*
Since we can’t give them what they want….what they need, we give them anything we can. You take your broken hearted daughter out shopping for a new dress to feel pretty. You give your son the keys to your car. You take your friend out for a night on the town or offer up that spare bedroom in your apartment until they get back on their feet.
All of this sounds great, right? Maybe. A big MAYBE!
If your kid is in distress, do you just poor your time and money into them. My immediate reaction is YES. But then I think about how the kid will take it for granted or not realize how much it is stressing the parents out.
It seems like several couples we know are recently divorced or contemplating a divorce. So what is the first thing we all think about…those poor kids. I always feel bad for the kids in the divorce. Parents made choices and decisions and now the kids have to deal. I’m not saying folks need to stay together for the sake of the kids. There will be fights and tension and kids can sense that. Better to have two happy homes than one miserable one.
But the biggest mistake many make are to over compensate for the pain kids go through. Whether you are the parent, grandparent, godparent or friend, you want to do something for the kids to hopefully make up for their stress. But spoiling a kid for a smile now will only make it worst in the long run. Whether the recipient of the extra attention, money or resources is a 2 year old or a 30 year old, they can get spoiled.
And I shouldn’t just put this on the ones that care. The recipient, if an adult, should know that they should not always take help. Sometimes others are bending over backwards and depriving themselves of basic necessities in life (i.e. sleep and peace of mind) to help them.
There was a time in my life in which I thought everyone deserved help and that I would do whatever I needed to do to help. But I now realize that I can’t become an enabler. I have to let people make their mistakes and pick themselves up. Sometimes you have to do it on your own in order to really grow. Now I just have to deal with watching others in my life enabling the ones they love. Perhaps I will just come across heartless.
So be it.
In watching Grey’s Anatomy last night it reminded me of a conversation Brian and I had a little while back due to a movie we watched. The movie was called “The Little Nonya.” (awesome movie!!! )
The movie follows the lives of several Peranakan families and focuses on the struggles of one particular mother, her daughter and grand daughter. The majority of the movie focuses on the grand daughter. The ending was alright but Brian was sad because she didn’t end up with the man she loved the most. He loved her the most but had to marry another, divorce and then marry his best friend. She marries someone that adored her and rescued her on several occasions. Though they went on the live fulfilling lives, they didn’t get to spend it with their most loved person in their lives.
Is it really sad? I guess so. But it is so real! How many people do you know, married their one and only true love and lived happily ever after?
Folks die, divorce, etc. Or circumstance just makes it so. Many have the one that “got away.” Due to a stupid argument or misunderstanding. In the movie the two loved each other. But in life love can be one way. You can have the love of your life but they love someone else so in a since you settle. Is settling bad? Not really. It depends on what you settle for. If you settle for someone just to have someone then it can be bad. Like in the movie, if you settle for your best friend or someone that absolutely adores you then, I think its good. That is why relationships are not even 50/50. Someone usually will love the other more. As long as you both love and respect each other it is all good.
The key is to be happy. And to be happy, you need to not compare your life with others. Base it on you.
If you look down, there is always someone worst off than you. If you look up there will always be someone smarter or richer. Why not just look in the mirror and think about the good in your life.
You are my friend so I hold you to a higher standard. Or should I?
So a recent event really pissed me off. I was reading along on the internet and came across an article about a friend of mine. I was so excited. I mean, really, its my friend and they are getting recognition for something they did! Woot!
Half way through the article I wanted to “gag.” It had false statements. My friend was getting recognition for stuff they did AND didn’t do. Stuff that I personally know others did even before my friend started employment at the place.
I sat at work pretty pissed for a while and then wondered why I was so mad and came to this conclusion:
So though I genuinely think this person is overall nice, do I really need them as my friend? They felt they deserved something and are willing to throw others under the bus for their benefit (They have confessed doing it before), then when I become an obstacle will I be thrown to the curb too?
Why is it that so many people think they deserve or are entitled to anything?
This is the mentality that is being implanted into kids minds and we wonder what is happening to the world. Get over yourselves, get your ass off the chair and go do something productive.
You don’t need a degree to make big bucks. You don’t need seniority to have respect. You just need to be a hardworker that is realistic and stop day dreaming.
So its our first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. Brian did such a wonderful job with all the lights outside (in freezing temperature).
As I sit here and enjoy the last of the Gin Rickeys I made earlier, I cannot help but think about what a nice weekend we had, and as much trouble as it is, the yard work which I had planned and then executed on, and what a darned good investment we made when we bought the gas trimmer I’ve been using for well over a year now. It’s one of those units that takes the various branded attachments, and between my brush blade and chainsaw attachment, I made quick work of our hill in the backyard. Muwahahaha. Die brambles! Die vines! Die sumac, you frakking rash causing plant!
Okay, enough of that. I also got a chance to work on the flower bed in front of the house which we kind of let get out of control. These was once a time it was a nice, circularly stoned flower bed with yellow marigolds and red salvia evenly planted. Yeah, not so much anymore; the marigolds have completely taken over, and also have bent as they grew outwards and only has a few inches of soil for support. Today, I trimmed them back within the confines of the stone circle, and then dropped in another row of stones (making 3) and yanked out the centipede grass that was growing between the stones and weedblock under the bed’s soil. Much prettier now, and until the marigolds die out, that will probably be the end of that work. Shouldn’t be too long now, and then I can add some more soil and level it out for the next round, where maybe will do it right and put the salvia on top and the marigolds on the periphery (sorry, we didn’t know).
Now with that work done, I can look at taking a road trip or two to peep some leaves…
One of the things I am noted for in the circle of friends is my relative lack of familiarity with mixed drinks, with the only drinks I generally made or drank were: screwdrivers, Margaritas, white Russians, and Jack & Coke. Now, of course, these are nice because a least there’s some variance in the primary alcohols used (vodka, tequila, and whiskey). However, I admit my total ignorance of stuff beyond these.
To remedy this, Kim and I challenged ourselves to make a “drink of the week” to broaden our abilities to make drinks as well as appreciate new flavors. We’re working from a little book written by Salvatore Calabrese called “Complete Home Bartender’s Guide.”
Because this is new stuff for me, I’ve started our first two weeks with relatively simple drinks. Last week, I made us some Cape Codders to say good by to summer with, and we both were happy with the results, though at the same time, it’s not something we’d make all too often because it didn’t rank above our favorites. This one is very simple: 1 2/3 oz. of vodka, and 5 oz. of cranberry juice poured into a taller glass filled with ice. It’s a nice refreshing drink.
This week’s drink did not go over so well for Kimmie, though. I tried making some Gin Rickeys (1 2/3 oz. gin, 1 oz of fresh squeezed lime juice, and club soda, over ice in tall glass). She said it tasted bitter to her, which I believe is a function of the club soda. I didn’t mind it too much, though I think a little something to sweeten it would make it more palatable to me (thinking I might cheat and use a little Rose’s Sweetened Lime Juice as an experiment, or maybe try again when I’ve made some sugar syrup for myself).
Ah well, isn’t this the point? Try new things, find some disgusting combinations and occasionally find ourselves a new favorite, as well as what makes good combinations (sweet, sour, bitter, salty). Not only that, we can also learn each other’s taste preferences and be able to start filtering out drinks.
I won’t be slinging drinks for others for a while yet though…
whoohoo!!!
Since engagement over a year ago, I started thinking about whether I was going to change my name. With a decision made, I went domain hunting. My top three choices were all taken. I finally settled on www.kimlmacleod.com
But I own www.luongfamily.com so I also wanted one for my new last name. I coughed up the whooping $18.99 for GoDaddy backorder. The domain was registered at Network Solutions. It went through redemption to pending deletion. I was reading that GoDaddy is really bad and barely ever captures a domain other other domain snatchers….Crap, there goes my money.
To my surprise, a week ago I got an email that the registration was transferred to GoDaddy! I was so happy! I patiently waited for it to be added to account. Instead I got an email that it was now in GoDaddy auctions. WTF. So they bought the domain so that I would have to bid against others?
I later found out they allow more than one back order. So others wanting that domain could have paid GoDaddy too. *sigh* Today was the end of that auction. I waited till 10 minutes to end and sure enough someone bid. I waited till 50 seconds and placed my bid.
We are now the happy owners of www.macleodfamily.com
Now we can have our own subdomains and email addresses.
kim @ macleodfamily.com! yay!
Our life, our way….the title of our blog. And that is pretty much how we feel.
I woke up this morning with the intent to do work. Work that someone is waiting for me to get done. But I need to take a break before I even start to vent.
Even before Brian and I got married, we started to have friends and just random people ask us when we were going to have babies and how many. We smile and say, “Maybe 2 or so but we are going to wait a few years.” Okay, let’s just roll with the punches, folks are just happy for us.
On the day of the wedding, almost everyone commented about babies. That was actually cute. Happy day, talk about happy things. My sister in law actually wrapped up our wedding fund jar and put “baby fund” on it. I thought that was soo cute. I appreciated that.
And she has not brought the topic up again.
But everyone else wants us to have a baby. Friends ask. Bosses ask. Co-workers ask. People I seldom talk to ask. Then folks will post on facebook comments that make people think I’m pregnant. OMG As if trying to ignore the “You should have a baby” wasn’t enough. Now I have to deal with “Are you pregnant?” “Congrats!”
I know I am guilty of making similar comments but its usually just once or twice. Especially since most will tell you what their plans are. And typically, I don’t bring it up if the couple in question doesn’t start.
Then there is the right and wrong way to say things.
Wrong: “You should have a baby.”
Right: “Are you planning on having kids?”
Wrong:”My baby needs playmates”
Right: “If and when you have kids, our kids could be friends.”
If you want a baby then have one yourself! Have a dozen!
Reasons why you should not assume anyone should have a baby…NOW:
People don’t feel like they have the right to tell you to:
All of these are major life changing decisions yet as humans we don’t feel we can randomly tell others this. Family might but only at a high level. So why do people feel they have the “right” to tell anyone they should have a kid, NOW!
I can’t stop anyone from saying anything. It is your mouth and your thought. But I think it would be great if everytime ANYONE tells me I need to have a baby, I tell them what I think they are doing wrong in their life and what they should change. After all, isn’t that what you are telling me? “You are wrong for not wanting to have a baby now, you should close that door and not stop having sex until that pee stick is positive.”
Would anyone like to tell me what I should write in my resignation letter:
“Dear Boss:
I am so happy to tell you that I have seen the light! I realize that life is not complete until I have a baby. I should stop being selfish and go ahead and start a family already. I now know that I have been wrong and everyone else is right.
I was wrong to think a career is good. I was wrong to think I needed to save money. I was wrong about education. I should have gotten started back when I was 16. I am 14 years behind!!!! How will I catch up?
I now know I should let my husband work. I will stay home and be barefoot and pregnant like Mrs. Dugger.
Please consider this my official resignation effective NOW so that I can go home NOW and have sex with my husband NOW so that I can have a baby NOW.
Sincerely,
An enlightened employee
“
We were all dressed up and ready to head out to another Dance event by our instructor. The theme: Western cowboy.
In the car by 6:30 with the yummy cheesecake Brian made for our dance buddies. 2 minutes from the event, I am looking in the rearview passenger side mirror and I see a truck coming towards us. We had already braked for traffic and at a near stop I think the Truck was about 2-3 cars distance from us. As he kept approaching, I thought, “he is gonna have to break hard.” When he was about inches from the car, I remember thinking to myself, he is not going to make it but should only be a tap. To my surprise it was a BOOM. Brian and I both jerked forward but had our seat belts on. The soda can in the cup holders flew out and spilled all over the center and into my seat and lap.
At the corner of the intersection was a car wash, so Brian decided to pull in to clear traffic. The truck that hit us followed. As we drove, there was a horrible scraping sound. I thought it was the bumper on the ground. I was thinking, “wow, the bumper must be hang on by a thread. I hope it doesn’t fall off until we are off the road.” As we all got out of the car it was apparent we were all a bit shaken up but no one was hurt. The bumper was not what was making all the noise. It was the fact that the bumper had bent and pushed into the mud guard that was now lodged against the tire.
Brian and the other driver talk and proceed to call the police. I looked around the car. I noticed the cheesecake carrier turned over and decided to flip it back and see how bad the damage was to the cake. I reach to open the door and nothing happens. Argh…is it locked? I go to the front to hit unlock. The door is still not opening. That is when I started to look more closely at the subie, and its clear that there is more than just bumper damage. It must have pushed the frame forward. If you look in the cargo area in the back, you can see that the carpet pieces above the spare tire and tools were dislodged. If looking at the driver side back panel over the tire, you can side some buckling looking effect. *sigh*
Police came and gave the other driver a citation for “following too closely.” We exchanged our information and then other driver stayed to help Brian remove the mud flap from so it wouldn’t wear down the tire. Well, we got in the car to head home and the noise is still there! Crap! Now we dont’ know what else under the car could be doing it. Hopefully it’s not the axle.
We called our insurance and filed a claim and within 20 minutes the other insurance company called to say they take full responsibility and want to talk to us about getting subie in for repair. So far the process has been fairly smooth. They will issue Brian a rental car. Hopefully, on Monday, they will say that subie is fixable and not declare a total loss. We are super close to paying it off and if its a loss, it just means they pay off the loan, we get a little remainder and then have to get a new car. Continued car notes is not really what we want.
But life happens and we just have to go with the flow. We are all okay. 